Author: Morton, Randy

Good friends

A couple months ago I wrote a column about performing. It was about telling someone they did a good job when you really didnt think they did. Is it better to tell them more of the truth so they don't begin to believe all the comments that are little white lies. I am happy to say that I have some good friends. Our band was honored to play Vern's stage this year. Later I had two people I respect come and talk with me. Each person began with all the strong suits and gave praise about them. I knew what was coming next because they began the conversation with “ could I talk to you about something” then started with praise.

The first friend shared mainly factual things that could stand improving. He then shared some things and stated that it was his opinion. Because I have respect for him in the areas he talked about, I knew that solid information. When we parted I was anything but dejected. I was so happy that he cared enough for me that he would want me to be better that he risked making me feel bad. He pointed some areas that I was not aware of and some that I was. Our band has been working on several of those areas. I am truly grateful for that he took the time to help me.

The second friend found me later that night and wanted to have the same sort of talk. This is one of those guys that knows how to give a great performance. He is noted for it and how well he and his band entertains a crowd. He also started the conversation with high praise for the areas he thought was strong about our band and performances. He then started with areas that we were lacking in. These were areas that he is as strong as anyone I know. He stopped and asked if it was okay that mention these things to me. I explained that I was thrilled that he would think enough of me to want to help and that I had great respect for how his band performs. At that time a lady we did not know came up to us to give her advise. She told my friend she loved his music then went on to tell which ties that his band wears should not ever be worn again. She went on about why they should not wear them and was very sure about what she was saying.

As my friend and I continued 0ur conversation he pointed a few of the same things the other friend had mentioned. He mentioned other areas that he is very skilled in and wanted to pass on his knowledge of those areas. He gave me practical ways to develop them by telling how he was able to get to the level he is in those areas. Again I left feeling so good about the advise I had been given. Our band has been working on those areas since.

If you are not aware of shortcomings then chances are you won't be working on them. I realized that is best that you are good in the areas that you are going give your advise about. If my friend knew that lady and was aware of her expertise in fashion, he might not be wearing those same ties today. That you are friends with those you might talk to about these type of things. These two things are key so that the person you are talking to will want to listen to you and want to implement your suggestions. It also helps that you able to give practical advise on how to achieve these things. All our friends want to better than what they are now. If you have that expertise and continue to just say they did a good job, I think you have fallen a little short as their friend. I want to say a huge thank you to these two friends that thought enough of me to come and give me some of what they have. It feels good that they wanted to share some of their talent with me.
Posted:  8/13/2012

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