Author: Ward, Christian

Just Suppose
Today we’ve got a guest column from Christian Ward, eleven year of old fiddling son of Lost Highway’s Eric Uglum. Christian recently sent in a “Hooked on Bluegrass” story and we were so taken by it that we couldn’t resist asking him what he thought would happen if everyone, everywhere were to listen to Ralph Stanley for a solid year.

Suppose every man, woman and child on the plant listened to a Stanley Brothers song per day for a year. I believe the world would change drastically. Surely within weeks everyone would get hooked on the pure, authentic sounds of the Stanley Brothers. Just imagine how much the pop culture in America would be affected:

I wouldn't have to explain to other kids why Stanley Brothers music is so cool.

When stopped at a stoplight you wouldn't have to ignore the head-pounding, obnoxious noise coming from the sub woofers of the car next to you. Instead, everybody would be nodding their heads in approval of the Stanley Brothers sounds emanating from the car next to them.

The Ralph Stanley would have concerts at the Anaheim Stadium where tickets would be sold out for months in advance.

Ralph Stanley would perform at the Superbowl halftime show where everyone would tune in just to watch him sing.

Target's shelves would be sold out of Stanley Brother's CDs while CDs by pop icons, such as Justin Timberlake, are on clearance.

Kids would be playing with Stanley Brother's action figures and the hottest selling figure would be the one where you push a button and Ralph sings "O Death."

Kids would bring Stanley Brothers lunch boxes to school.

Kids would trade Stanley Brothers trading cards which would include the Columbia, Mercury, Early Starday/King, post Carter and "O Brother Where Are Thou" series.

Department store windows would feature the latest Ralph Stanley fashions which would be worn by the hippest fashion mongers.

At the playground all the kids would be humming the melody to "White Dove."

The hottest video game out would be one containing a race with Carter and Ralph against P.Diddy and Christina Aguilera to see who can win the most golden banjos.

On Entertainment Tonight everyone would watch to get the latest scoop on Ralph Stanley and his supermodel girlfriend.

But lets get back to reality. This isn't the way things are but who knows? Who would have ever thought that in 2001 Ralph Stanley would be one of the recipients of a Grammy for Best Album of the Year?

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.
Posted:  2/22/2004

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